Sunday, October 20, 2013

One Holy Discontent that is Breaking My Heart

I have a holy discontent. I need to share it. Maybe a burden shared is a burdened halved.

Let me say the obvious: I need Jesus. I need his hope. I need his reassurance. When it comes to the fruitfulness of the local church, I need his perseverance and his grace. When it comes to handling all the demands of family life, I need strength and love. When I consider the sickness, unbelief, pride, abuse, hurt and pain of family, friends and the community around me, I need hope that God responds to my prayers.

That being said, there is one thing that has bugged me for a long time. For over 10 years I have had a holy discontent about this one thing. I can't seem to shake it, and in fact the holy discontent I am feeling right now, is growing. My heart is aching. It could be the lack of coffee intake recently, or possibly something deeper.

Maybe this blog will ease the pain. Maybe this blog will reveal some of my heart and thus lessen the feeling of frustration. Maybe it won't.

People carry around with them many burdens. I get that. They carry with them pain from past hurts, and live with the memories today. They wonder how they will make ends meet, and they find themselves questioning whether God will ever heal that sickness and fulfill that dream. They need hope and they need Jesus.

Now here's my holy discontent.

Some would rather live with the pain, the hurt, the rejection and the unforgiveness than come to the altar so that God may do a great work within them.

I cannot tell you how many times people have said to me, things like, 'I really wonder where God IS in it all.' Yet when someone called people forward during a time of prayer, they remained in their seat.

I don't get it. I don't understand what is in the human psyche that when the minister calls people to the altar, some run to it, and others would prefer to warm their undergarments on their pew.

Someone help me understand. Is it fear? Is it a deep-seated disbelief in the power of God? Is it the inability to reason your way out of a move of God? Is it simply pride? Laziness? Apathy? The pain itself holds you back?

The fact is, Jesus can forgive you. God can heal you. The walls can be brought down. The prayer can be answered. The concern lifted and the abuse forgiven. God can move by the power of his Holy Spirit, to bring redemptive lift and life in all its fullness. There's grace and mercy freely available in Christ.

Though, God gives you the free will to respond.

I have some words ringing in my ears tonight, a holy discontent that is not going away.

"Will I find you at the altar of the Lord?"

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